Throughout my life, I have had several "sunshines."
As a teenager and through part of college, there was Brianna.
Brianna battles Cerebral Palsy. I had the privilege of working with her in several capacities at summer camp. Brianna LOVED attending Mid-South Youth Camp in Henderson, TN. However, her wheelchair and physical limitations made an outdoor camp a bit of a challenge for her. She never let it stop her. The weeks she attended each summer, she was accompanied by either her aunt or myself as her care-taker. We helped her bathe, get dressed, fix her hair, eat, go to the bathroom, complete her physical therapy, take meds...you name it. We also helped her take in the camp activities. We took her swimming, we took her to the lake, we took her to the scavenger hunt, carried her flights of stairs when ramps were not available. We stayed by her side day and night. To say I was exhausted at the end of one of these weeks would be an understatement.
To say I wasn't uplifted by the end of one of these weeks would be a lie. I learned so many valuable lessons from this sweet girl! I can remember holding her hands as her parents or her physical therapist would complete her leg exercises. Her joints were often so stiff that this caused her unbearable amounts of pain. Through each session. Brianna would smile, because she was just happy to be at camp with the rest of the kids! She might have tears running down her face because of the pain...but she was smiling all the while! My favorite place to take her was to the pavilion where we had our devotionals and periods of singing each day. I can remember countless times where I sat there, tears streaming down my face, smiling - unable to sing - because of the joy and love and passion Brianna had for our Lord. Due to the severity of her Cerebral Palsy, she was unable to clearly say many words. Brianna never let this stop her. She sang every song at the top of her lungs with so much passion and excitement!
Brianna was a little bit of sunshine in my life!
In my second year of teaching fifth grade, I found Taylor(and several others).
This particular year, I had a packed classroom. Nine or ten of my students that year had special needs. Some of these needs ranged from severe dyslexia to manic-bipolar to severe anxiety to rage issues to epilepsy and many others. Taylor was one of my students from August to Christmas that year. Taylor, like Brianna, lives with Cerebral Palsy. Through all of the frustrations of the hectic and challenging classroom that year, I could always count on a smile from Taylor. You couldn't help but love him! Yes, teaching with a little boy like Taylor in the room could be very difficult at times. He needed constant attention. He needed someone to help him eat, use the restroom, write his name, and read. He needed someone to help him up and down the hall and around the room, and he needed someone to help him get to the bus on time. Add in the other issues faced by my students that year, and it is amazing my hair isn't gray yet...
The awesome thing about that year, with all of its challenges, is that I can look back and smile. I had little bits of sunshine in each and every day. Some days, it was an enthusiastic Taylor flagging me down just to smile and tell me he good morning. Some days the sunshine was from a child, who had such severe rage issues his couldn't get his words straight, calm down long enough to tell me he loved me. Even now when I run into some of those former students or their parents, I am reminded of how great a child's love can be! As a teacher, my job was to teach these students where they were. I don't know if I succeeded in helping each of those students with their challenges or not. I pray that I did. However, I do know that, because of the little sunshines I had in my room that year, I can look back and smile. (Sometimes I have to laugh at some memories to keep from crying, because I really am not sure how I survived at times!)
Taylor was a little bit of sunshine in my life!
Now I have my sweet, energetic, clown.
Life with a CF child is not always easy. I would never wish for anyone to battle Cystic Fibrosis, and I pray for a cure. Through the hours of therapy and the hundreds of pills, there are times I grow weary as a momma. There are times I can't help but ask why.
Then she looks at me with her perfect toothy grin, and it all fades away. All of the shadows of doubt in my mind grow a little lighter because of the perfect ray of sunshine God has placed in my life.
Her body is not perfect. Considerable amounts of time and money go into her daily care, and those amounts will only increase as she gets older. Through it all, I have learned so much! I have learned the amazing power of prayer. I have learned how important your family support system is. I have learned that, though sometimes you have to look a little closer, there are always silver linings. There is aways a little bit of sunshine...even on the darkest days.
On a daily basis, she is my little sunshine.
My blood is curdling tonight. I came across a few articles telling of "parents" who have sued medical companies and doctors on the grounds of "wrongful birth." These beautiful, innocent children were born with different challenges: some with downs syndrome, some with physical deformities, some with a multitude of challenges; and the parents are seeking "justice." In many of the cases I read tonight, these parents had gone through the genetic testing that is offered during pregnancy to check for some of the more common possible problems. These parents are suing, and winning, cases on the grounds of "wrongful birth." They say their child was wrongfully born because the doctors and the tests were wrong, and their child was born with the problems the tests said they had a 50-50 percent chance of not having. Some of the parents say that, had they had the correct information, they would have terminated the pregnancy. Some of the parents say they love their child deeply, but the care is such a drain emotionally and financially that they deserve to be paid for the poor information that was given to them before and at the time of their child's birth. What do these sweet children think of all of this? Do they feel the love their parents say that have for them? Do they feel like their lives are valued?
My heart is heavy tonight. My mind races to the "what-ifs" of the sweet sunshines that have crossed my path. What if the parents of those children had known about the difficulties they would face and had aborted them? What if they had to grow up in houses where their births were referred to as "wrongful"? What if they never felt loved? Would they be able to spread love and joy to others with whom they cross?
My prayer tonight is that we once again begin to see the value of human life as God intended for us to see it. My prayer tonight is that each one of us holds our children a little closer each day. My prayer tonight is that children whose parents do not realize the blessings children bring can find love from a teacher or a grandparent or a mentor.
My prayer is that we all search for the sunshine God has provided in the unlikely places and thank Him for it.
